when I interviewed myself...

Given the extent of my neuroses, I thought interviewing myself might be therapeutic in some form. I realize it takes one hell of a hott mess to attempt something like this, but I'm glad to be that girl. Besides, it's much more interesting for the 5 people who read my blog to learn about me this way than to sit through yet another monologue. Enjoy.*

*For clarity's sake, I will refer to the question-posing facet of my being as the interviewer, and the answering facet as lulu.

Interviewer: So , I hear you've started a blog recently. Is this your first time blogging? If so, you were a little late to jump on the bandwagon, weren't you?

lulu: No, this is not my first attempt at blogging. I blogged semi-successfully several years ago, but outgrew the blog. Then, when I was pregnant, back in spring-summer-fall of '06, I started another blog, and it drew an ok readership, I mean, I had some regular readers and commenters...

Interviewer: What happened?

lulu: Well, after my daughter was born, I decided to be a "mommy blogger" but that didn't go so well. It was like being back in middle school again. All the other mommybloggers ignored me. And suddenly, there I was, back in the cafeteria with nowhere to sit, and no one to sit with. It roused all sorts of repressed traumas that I have spent the past 15 years trying to forget and needless to say, it was not a pleasant experience. (pulls paper bag from pocket, places up to mouth and begins to inhale and exhale deeply)

Interviewer: I'm sorry. Am I upsetting you?

lulu: No, no, that's ok. You may continue.

Interviewer: Thank you. So, getting back to the blogging, what makes you think this blogging experience will be any different, and why do you want to blog so badly in the first place?

lulu: Well, blogging caters to my inner exhibitionist. I think we all have one lurking somewhere in our depths. And, to answer your first question, I believe that this time will be different, because I'm letting the real me do the blogging and not trying to hide behind the facade of some cartoon girl. With the other blogs, I made my identity known - I never gave my last name, but I did use my first name and I posted lots of pictures of myself and my daughter... and while a part of me really enjoyed posting the pictures, I also felt like I really had to censor what I said then, because I believe in blogging with dignity and tact. I want this to be a forum where I can be open and not have to keep turning on the auto-censors, but I also don't want to catch any flack in real life because of something I said in my blog. 'Cause God knows I don't need any more problems.

Interviewer: So, what exactly do you plan on sharing here?

lulu: Reflections. Whatever comes into my mind, whatever I feel I need to work through. I guess that part of what I'm looking for is anonymous feedback. I mean, if I'm completely barking up the wrong tree with something, I would hope that maybe someone would comment and tell me that.

Interviewer: So, how do you feel about comments?

lulu: I welcome them. Even the negative, critical ones. But if you leave one of those, just be prepared for me to write an entry about it, linked to your blog.

Interviewer: Getting back to what you said about pictures, does this mean that you won't be posting a self pic here?

lulu: That would be correct.

Interviewer: Then maybe you could at least give us a description of what you look like. You know, people are curious beings.

lulu: Ok, picture the love child of Leonard Cohen and Tina Fey. That is exactly what I look like.

Interviewer: Yes, that is quite an accurate description. What do you feel is your best asset?

lulu: My acerbic wit.

Interviewer: And your worst?

lulu: My acerbic wit.

Interviewer: Interesting.

Interviewer: Well, I do believe that's all the time we have for today. Thank you.

lulu: Thank you.